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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?